


heartstrings (Prompt 30 - Splinter)

by unmended



Series: FFXIVWrite2020 [30]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward, M/M, Misunderstandings, spicy but not explicit makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26799808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unmended/pseuds/unmended
Summary: A half-hearted rejection, followed by an understanding.(or, a potential for how J'mhazi and Aymeric got together, in another time)
Relationships: Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light
Series: FFXIVWrite2020 [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906036
Kudos: 11
Collections: Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched Bookclub FFXIV-Writes 2020 Collection





	heartstrings (Prompt 30 - Splinter)

**Author's Note:**

> This is mega late but i was having trouble with inspo for the last few. Thank you to everyone who read and followed along, y'all are the best <3
> 
> Set sometime post vault pre end of HW patches. idk.  
> (No longer '''canonical''' for them but it's a nice thing on it's own, i suppose :') )  
> this is sorta sequel/related to [prompt 25 - wish](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674066)

* * *

J'mhazi is accosted almost as soon as he enters _The Order of the Knights Most Holy_.  
  
"Oh praise _Halone_ , someone who might be able to do something about _him_." An older Elezen strides up purposefully, towering over him slightly. "Warrior of Light, I presume? My name is Adellephi and I'm the head chirurgeon who's been overseeing the Lord Commander's care."

J'mhazi nods. "Is there… something wrong?"

"You could say that, yes - The Lord Commander has holed up in his office and has now taken to refusing care- " J'mhazi frowns. "Normally I would take more issue with this - he's mostly mended, he can do what he wishes - but he's been holed up working and not taken any meals." Adellephi gestures to a couple of frazzled knights in the entryway. "Each attempt has been rebuffed. In no uncertain terms is he to be disturbed, upon threat of demotion. We're not sure if he's serious but he's been in a mood, for obvious reasons, and I'm running out of knights to bribe to send in there." She sighs.

"I'm surprised Lucia hasn't throttled him, If I'm being honest." J'mhazi says, sparing a glance around the room for her, not seeing her in her usual spot.

"I had a similar thought. It seems he sent her away, and she listened. Whatever that bodes." Adellphi says.

"…I see." J'mhazi says, considering. "Let me know what you think I can do."

"Take him a meal." She says, matter-of-fact. "That's it. I'm sure his people would appreciate your hide on the line instead of theirs. And he can't demote you." She chuckles.

* * *

A half-bell later, and with a tray of things that one could hardly turn their nose up at, J'mhazi breathes out a little huff of a breath and raps at the door to Aymeric's personal chambers. When he doesn't hear anything for a minute or so, he's half tempted to try the door himself when he hears movement from within.

"Fury above, if this is another recruit that's been sent I'll-"

" _Ser Aymeric_ -" J'mhazi interrupts. "You sound…well you sound out of sorts. I daresay I'm glad I'm not a recruit and I'm beginning to understand why they sent me up instead."

He can hear a furious rustling and a shuffling and the door is swung open. Aymeric's tired face greets him - he's surprised, but it seems that the visit is not wholly unwelcome. "J'mhazi-" He breathes. "I-" He eyes the tray warily.

"I promise it won't bite. Let me in?" J'mhazi says.

"Oh - yes, ah. Come in." Aymeric stands aside and holds the door open for him.

J’mhazi almost expected a mess, but the room is barely touched. Almost worse in some ways. From the sliver he can see in the hall, the bed is hardly disturbed and the only thing that has seen use is the large wooden desk and the bureau nearby. J’mhazi places the tray down and turns to regard Aymeric as he shuts the door and moves back to his desk.

The man is without his armor, but still draped in that royal blue. He looks exhausted.

J’mhazi pours a cup of tea for each of them, and slides one across the desk for Aymeric - slow enough that he has time to move any important papers out of its path. J’mhazi pulls up a spare chair and sits.

“Sounds like you’ve been a bit of a nightmare for your staff.” J’mhazi says, breaking the awkward silence. Aymeric winces slightly and takes a sip of his tea before eyeing the tray. J’mhazi pushes it closer and Aymeric grabs the small pot of birch syrup, spooning it into his tea. Another sip.

“I must admit I have not taken to bed-rest as well as I should have.” Aymeric says after a while. “Perhaps I owe a number of people a number of small apologies.” He says sheepishly.

“And Lucia?”

“Or… larger apologies.” Aymeric shuts his eyes and lowers his teacup. “We fought. It’s the first time I think I’ve ever been cross with her and she was right, and I’ve been foolish.”

“If I may…what could possibly have you so wound, Aymeric? I’ve seen you face down a great many things with more composure than this.” J’mhazi says.

“…You, actually.” Aymeric says, slowly.

“Me.” J’mhazi says stupidly, then sputters; “Aymeric if I’ve done anything to wro-“

“No, nothing like that.” Aymeric smiles, strained, and sips his tea again.

J’mhazi looks down at his own untouched tea, thoughts swirling. When he looks up again he finds Aymeric studying him over his own knitted fingers.

“Can you say something else? Anything else - you’re terrifying me.” J’mhazi smiles but can’t help the tremble in his voice.

“Lucia...she thinks I’m in love with you, and that not addressing it is affecting me - my work. Everything.”

“Aymeric…”

“In trying to convince myself this wasn’t the case, but still selfishly keeping you close, I’ve managed to keep hurting us both, I think,” Aymeric says, a genuine pain passing over his face. “I am not right for this, and I cannot have and do not deserve anything from you. That's it.” 

J’mhazi’s jaw works soundlessly, trying to find anything to say. Something in his heart cracks and splinters. Rejection before he even had the chance to give voice to feelings of his own. He turns his head away.

"If you truly mean that, then I'll go - I'll leave, and we don't have to speak on this again." J'mhazi says after a moment, ears flattened and back, betraying the calmness with which he tries to continue on. Aymerc's eyes flit to them briefly and he almost, _almost_ breaks his resolve.

"I-" Aymeric stutters, then catches himself. "Yes. I think that would be for the best."

"Sure..." J'mhazi says, brows furrowed. “…Make sure you eat something or this visit will have been for nothing, Lord Commander.” He says, as he picks himself up slowly out of the chair. Heading for the door, he turns one last time and regrets it immediately, seeing Aymeric’s chilly stare from over his hands. He petulantly shuts the door harder than he needs to when he leaves.

Aymeric curses when he’s finally alone again, and draws his head down, running his hands through his hair. With a snarl of frustration he shoves the first missive he sees off his desk, followed by a long arm sweep through the others, narrowly missing the tray. He picks up his teacup with shaking hands and drains it.

* * *

J’mhazi storms out of the lift and out of _The Order’_ s entryway before he can be waylaid. Out in the frigid air, he takes a few centering breaths before walking briskly back to Foretemps manor.

Wiping some lose snow off at the entryway, Tataru greets him warmly.

“Oh! How was your visit with the Lord Commander!” She asks.

“Fine.” J’mhazi replies, far too tightly and takes his leave almost immediately. To those within earshot, the visit was obviously anything but. Tataru watches his back with concern as he climbs the stairs to his room.

* * *

Around dinnertime, a missive arrives for the Warrior of Light, care of Lucia Junius. Curious, and still somewhat downtrodden, J’mhazi takes it and retreats upstairs once more.

**_Dearest J’mhazi,_** it reads. His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

**_Please forgive the small deception. I feared you would not accept the missive it if were in my name, and you’d be right to reject it,_ **

J’mhazi deflates and flops into his desk chair.

**_It is difficult to put into words how I feel, but I fear I’ve hurt you and I wish to make it right, if you’d let me._ **

**_Come to me tonight. Drinks, if you’re amenable. If not, I will understand._ **

**_-A_ **

J’mhazi crumples the missive and crushes it on the table. Then, he slowly unfurls it and flattens it out again, carefully. He sighs and leaves it in favor of picking at his dinner.

* * *

Long having decided to go and at least hear Aymeric out, J’mhazi bundles in an extra layer or two while quietly taking his leave of the manor.

After what feels like the longest walk he’s ever taken, he pushes his way into _The Order_ ’s entryway. Still and silent, everyone long since retired save fore a few bustling about in the lower floors, J’mhazi makes his way up to Aymeric’s rooms.

Arriving at the door, he knocks once. He hears the door unlatch, so he pushes it open and steps in.

More dimly lit than when he was here earlier, he’s treated to a warm fire and the lounging area of his room, cleaned for once. J’mhazi starts when he hears Aymeric behind him.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come.” He says.

“Neither was I.” J’mhazi breathes as they meet. He hangs his cloak by the door and gravitates towards the fire. Aymeric closes the latch on the door.

“Please, make yourself comfortable.” Aymeric says.

J’mhazi hums slightly as he chooses a spot on the mostly untouched couch near the fire. “Have you…ever used this couch? Ever entertained here?”

“Rarely,” Aymeric says, pouring two classes of amber liquid and moving to join, albeit a respectful distance apart on the couch. He reaches to pass a glass to the other man, who takes it and swirls it contemplatively. “Thank you…for coming.”

J’mhazi tries to smile but it falters. He opts to take a sip of his drink instead to cover.

Aymeric takes a large swig of his own drink and puts it aside.

“I imaging you know I still cannot look Edemont de Foretemps in the eye?” Aymeric says. “That man is a saint and I killed his son and _you-_ “ His voice shakes with the effort of restraint. “You, who I have grown to love though it was not my place to do so. You who have already lost so much… I couldn’t ask you for this. Not the man who killed the one you loved. Do I have the right of it?”

“ _No-_ “ J’mhazi whispers, tortured. “You - how _dare_ you make that claim for me?”

“I-I” Aymeric looks down. “Perhaps it was easier for me this way than acknowledging the truth. I’m so sorry-“

J’mhazi bites back a pained noise. “All this time I thought there was something about me - that you found unsuitable about me but it was all just you sacrificing yourself on a pike for no reason.” Tears gather at the edges of his eyes and threaten to spill.

Aymeric looks down, unable to bear the judgmental gaze any longer.

J’mhazi downs the rest of his drink and brings the glass down just harshly enough to startle the other man.

“You have a lot to answer for, but as I’ve told you, Hau….his death is not on your hands.”

“…a lot to answer for?” Aymeric repeats.

“How long have you wanted to kiss me?” J’mhazi says, absently wiping at his eyes.

“How long have we known each other?”

J’mhazi laughs. “I have no idea.”

“Well, it would be that, minus a couple of moons, I’d say.” Aymeric says quietly.

“Then what are you bloody waiting for-“

Aymeric slides forward on the couch, clumsily, and cups J’mhazi’s face in both his hands. He brings their lips together softly at first, carefully. J’mhazi hold onto one of his wrists with his own hand. Aymeric deepens the kiss, and J’mhazi lets him, craning his neck to meet. They each pull back to catch their breath.

“Are you - is this alright?” Aymeric breathes against his cheek.

“Yes, yes. Please, yes.” J’mhazi says, hands grasping at the other man's shirt. "I don't want to wait any longer." He says hoarsely.

Aymeric pushes J'mhazi back onto the couch, and they're a tangle of legs and greedy hands. Fingers trace across a jawline reverently, J'mhazi locks his leg behind Aymeric's and draws him down, hand tugging at dark hair demandingly. Lips meet once more and J'mhazi's teeth snag Aymeric's bottom lip, drawing an uncharacteristic groan from the Lord Commander.

"Mercy, J'mhazi-" Aymeric sighs out as he moves to plant kisses down the column of his neck. J'mhazi gasps and his tail finally frees itself from beneath him, trembling slightly and falling to rest off the side of the couch. Aymeric worries a mark into the other man's neck and J'mhazi has to bite down on his own lip to stop himself from crying out. Aymeric's arms wind around him and he pulls him up and forward, seated to straddle his lap and they both gasp as they meet, J'mhazi rolling his hips experimentally.

"If you're quite well enough.." J'mhazi murmurs, tugging Aymeric's shirt aside and nibbling his own mark into the exposed collar there. "We should retire, or I dare say we shall be ruining this couch." He punctuates this by giving another roll of his hips and Aymeric's breath stutters.

"Yes - ah - I think that would be for the best." Aymeric says, hotly. Fire kindling in his eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> If you're of the writing persuasion or generally just want to yell about final fantasy xiv fanfiction, come and join usssss in the discorrrrrd:
> 
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/4gUTQta)


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